Here’s how it goes these days: On Sunday, I iron five shirts. That way, my biggest morning (in)decision happens on Monday, after that, things get easier. By Friday, I just reach into the closet, throw it on, button up and go. It’s a good system really.

Mornings are not my thing, never have been, but this new job of mine is early and that’s just the way it is.

I’m not in the office much, half the time really, but when I am I like it, a lot actually. I’ve never really considered myself a team player. I mean, I’ll play on a team but I’m not always ready and willing to hug it out at the end and I do get a little annoyed when in the middle of things someone wants to hold a meeting to make sure we’re all being heard. But this job, this job has major meeting fever. And that’s fine really. I’m attempting to just jump into the culture of this place and make it work. I’m surrounded by awesome people, so, for that, my tolerance is pretty high.

The office climate is so nice though, and not in that “oh you’re new so I’ll be nice to you in an awkwardly plastic way.” I’m talking about an entire building full of really good people: Kind. Fun. Good looking.

So, to keep things real I’ve been trying to start office rumors. A few have flown and that was great. A few tanked right from the start and a few, just to keep folks guessing, have been true. And I mean, whatever the flow of information might be it’s always harmless and fun enough to spread whether you believe it at all or not. That is actually an important angle to a good rumor – worthy of wanting to be spread, true or not.

I WISH I could share some of the rumors that have become rather popular but they are all co-worker specific and because I plan to keep this job until I die, I need to be really careful here.

So, instead, tonight on twitter, just to take a little break from all of the reality of election stuff I attempted to spread some rumors. I offered three, one of which is true. I was going to say which one, but I think I’ll wait… (one is true, I promise.)

1. I danced with Tom Cruise at a gay bar in Budapest.

2. I’ve had a few beers and chalked it up with the SNL crew, Tina Fey included.

3. I almost kissed Alanis Morissette but then the sprinkler went off.

Oh, and hi there! I’ve missed you something fierce. Thanks for holding tight and I hope the world spins you about kindly in all of our inbetween time.